He Took My Virginity



Why do we say he took my virginity?

Out of all the words and sentences a woman could use to describe her first sexual encounter “he took my virginity ” is used to describe something that’s meant to be shared , experienced and enjoyed.

What often plagues me with this statement is what exactly was taken from the woman….He took what ? Your hymen ? your sex? Your intimacy ? What exactly was taken from you, was he having sex with you ? Or did you have sex together ? , the objectification and commodification of women’s sexuality is soo deeply intrenched in our society,minds and our language , that we ourselves as women perpetuate our objectification.

We have women wrapping their value around the timing of their first sexual encounter, and the amount of times they’ve  experienced and explored their sexuality, and if that’s our value system as females, what is left of you as a woman. How can your whole existence, your whole being, your mind , your soul, your heart , your femininity be wrapped around whether a man has penetrated you or not.

There’s this skewered mentality around sex with men , that’s it’s something they “take”, they “buy ” they “steal”, same thing that happens with commodities. Your sexuality as a woman is either bought (blessers, prostitution), taken ( your virginity or sexual encounter) or stolen ( rape). Never experienced because society , culture or religion told us it was never yours but something to be given , weighed , experienced and enjoyed by men. Odd though since women women have double the amount of nerve endings ( little pockets of pleasure lined up in your Punani given to you by God so that you enjoy sex ) compared to men.

Let’s mind our language , as the way we speak describes the way we see ourselves and way we see the world, but most importantly the way the world sees us and treats us. Own your sexuality, whether you want to experience it now, or whether you want to experience it after you marry someone. Take that responsibility as a women and ensure your decision was based purely on the how, when and where YOU’D like to experience your sexuality and not on the how when and where our patriarchal society wants you to experience it .


Ps. The women clitoris has 8000 nerve endings , just incase you need to know the actual number of feel good nerves your biological structure gives you .



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